Saturday

Casual
You're a CASUAL AIM-ER! Congrats, you're
normal...or you're pretending to be.


What kind of AIM-er are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

^- --'... DEFINE 'NORMAL'

You're sweet and innocent on the outside but on the inside you're one wild horny bunny!
Congratulations! You're a Bunny Hug!!


What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

^- ok?? i don't drink!!! eee
jess @ 8/16/2003 07:51:00 PM


emails:
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SOMEBODY

This teenager lived alone with his mother, and the two of them had a very special relationship.

Even though the son was always on the bench, his mother was always in the stands cheering.

She never missed a game.

This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high
school.

But his mother continued to encourage him but also made it very clear
that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to.

But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there.

He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd
get to play when he became a senior.

All through high school he never missed a practice nor a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years.

His faithful mother was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him.

When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on."

Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did.

The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul into every practice, and at the same time, provided the other embers with the spirit and hustle they badly needed.

The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he
rushed to the nearest phone and called his mother.

His mother shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games.

This persistent, young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college,
but he never got to play in the game.

It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big playoff game, the coach met him with a elegram.

The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent.

Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My mother died this morning.

Is it all right if I miss practice today?"

The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, "Take the
rest of the week off, son. And don't even plan to come back to the game
on Saturday.

Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third
quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man
quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear.

As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see
their faithful teammate back so soon.

Coach, please let me play.

I've just got to play today," said the young man.

The coach pretended not to hear him.

There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close playoff game.

But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the
coach gave in.

"All right," he said.

"You can go in."

Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes.

This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right.

The opposing team could not stop him.

He ran, blocked and tackled like a star.

His team began to triumph.

The score was soon tied.

In the closing seconds of the game, this kid intercepted a pass and ran all
the way for the winning touchdown.

The fans broke loose.

His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders.

Such cheering you've never heard!

Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that the young man was sitting quietly in the orner all alone.

The coach came to him and said, "Kid, I can't believe it.

"You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?"

He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my mom died, but did you know that my mom was blind?"

The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Mom came to all my games, but today was the first time she could see me play, and I wanted to show her I could do it!"

...
Always Remember This:

Somebody is very proud of you.

Somebody is thinking of you.

Somebody is caring about you.

Somebody misses you.

Somebody wants to talk to you.

Somebody wants to be with you.

Somebody hopes you are not in trouble.

Somebody hopes everything turns out all right.

Somebody wants you to be happy.

Somebody can't wait to see you.

Somebody loves you for who you are.

Somebody is glad that you are their friend.

Somebody wants you to know they are there for you.

Somebody needs your support.

Somebody will cry when they read this.

Somebody needs you to have faith in them.

Somebody trusts you.

Somebody hears a song that reminds them of you.

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The New School Prayer

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule.
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple or orange or green,
That's no offense, it's the freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise,
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the State.
We're allowed to cuss, dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues, and cheeks.

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the unwed daddy, our Senior King.

It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.
We can get our condoms, birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires, and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No Word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot, My soul please take.

Author Unknown


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Dear God,
Why didn't you save the school children in Littleton,Colorado?
Sincerely,
Concerned Student


--reply:--

Dear Concerned Student,
I am not allowed in schools.
Sincerely,
God


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The Bible in Fifty Words
God made
Adam bit
Noah arked
Abraham split
Joseph ruled
Jacob fooled
Bush talked
Moses balked
Pharaoh plagued
People walked
Sea divided
Tablets guided
Promise landed
Saul freaked
David peeked
Prophets warned
Jesus born
God walked
Love talked
Anger crucified
Hope died
Love rose
Spirit flamed
Word spread
God remained.


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jess @ 8/16/2003 03:38:00 PM


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A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art." The young man held out this package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and
offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?"

There was silence.

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one."

But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid for this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"

Another voice angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!"

But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

"We have $10, who will bid $20?"

"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters."

"$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?"

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10.!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over."

"What about the paintings?"

"I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned.

Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire
estate, including the paintings.

The man who took the son gets everything!"

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: "The son, the son, who'll take the son?"

Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.
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"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, shall have everlasting life." -- John 3:16

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12 Top Things NOT To Say To An Officer
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are!

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"


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New billboards are getting attention in Arizona. Some reported seeing one or two messages, but the newspaper listed all of them. Here's a list of all variations of the "God Speaks" billboards. The billboards are a simple black background with white text. No fine print or sponsoring organization is included. These are awesome ... enjoy.
--------------------------------------------------
Tell the kids I love them.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
Let's meet at my house Sunday
before the game.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
C'mon over and bring the kids.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
What part of "Thou Shalt Not..."
didn't you understand?
-God
--------------------------------------------------
We need to talk.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
Keep using my name in vain,
I'll make rush hour longer.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
Loved the wedding,
invite me to the marriage.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing....
I meant it.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
I love you and you
and you and you and...
-God
--------------------------------------------------
Will the road you're on
get you to my place?
-God
--------------------------------------------------
Follow me.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
Big bang theory,
you've got to be kidding.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
My way is the highway.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
Need directions?
-God
--------------------------------------------------
You think it's hot here?
-God
--------------------------------------------------
Have you read my #1 best seller?
There will be a test.
-God
--------------------------------------------------
Do you have any idea
where you're going?
-God
--------------------------------------------------
Don't make me come down there.
-God

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Easy vs. Difficult

Why is it so difficult to tell the truth;

Yet so easy to tell a lie?

Why are some people so sleepy in church but

Right when the sermon is over, they suddenly wake up?

Why is it so difficult to talk about God;

Yet so easy to talk about filthy things?

Why is it so boring to look at a Christian magazine;

But the nasty ones are so interesting?

Why is it so easy to delete an e-mail focusing on God;

Yet we forward all of the stupid, worthless, wordly ones?

Why are the churches getting smaller;

And the bars and dance clubs are getting larger?

Do you give up? Think about it...

Are you going to forward this one, or delete it?

There's no pressure or limit for any amount of people you can send this to...


Just remember-God is watching you.

He knows your heart, mind, and soul.

Everything you do, He knows it.

He is omniscient [all-knowing]

He knows your thoughts and sees your actions,

He is past, present, future, and beyond any means of time that we know.

So, pass this along if you want...

There are no costs, but wonderful rewards.
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jess @ 8/16/2003 03:19:00 PM