mood: bored

music: i dont kno the title or the singer but its very catchy "[somethin somethin somethin]'ve been living in and if you do not want to see me again i would understaaaaaaaaaand i would understaaaaaaand i would understand..."

im really getting tired of this simple look of my blog... i want somethin with color... i wish i could make my own layout buti have no idea how to so that just kinda sucks... im thinkin somethin along the lines of green and red and khaki... pinstripes... or plaid... ill prolly try to mess around with making a background or somethin in adobe or xara... yeah and too bad that is moving... i cant look at any blogskins til theyre done... that could be awhile :-/ *sigh* o well

in other news... my dad wil be coming home from atlanta at around 7 to 8 tonite... woo~ ha not really but yeah... wish he would come home tomoro at least :-/ i like being on his puter... well, i like having an internet connection too... at least i dont have my bros puter ha!!! his puter always freezes every hour or so, especially if hes in the middle of playing a game on CS [counter-strike] actually a pretty cool game... i suck at it, cant aim whatsoever lol but the first time i tried to play i didnt kno how to move and a guy from the opposing team came over to me with a knife and i shot him in the head with a glock XD i killed him! woo! it was funny cuz he thot i was afk when really, im just a n00b :D kinda weird tho cuz now i kno how to do basic stuff in the game [except for buying stuff :-/] and that was the only time ive killed someone... or at least knowingly hit them

now im wondering where blade is but im not worried cuz i kno he'll come on sooner or later... better sooner than later tho :-/... milk tastes weird... kinda cold but kinda not... thickens the saliva and leaves a funky after-taste on the back of your tongue... ok ill stop rambling on about milk for now :P

ya kno... im starting to also wonder how people view me... not just as a person, but as their friend... or maybe im not even a friend but just a person anyways... but like... u cant put me in a stereotypical category [those of which i hate] and i guess im too hard on myself but i think that people dont really like me but they do cuz im funny and i act stupid... i dunno... im just paranoid.. im just sayin this cuz im on AIM and NO ONE IS IMING ME! blah i feel selfish now lol

i really hope i dont go to tkd tonite >.< cuz my toe still kinda hurts and im afraid someones gonna step on it or ill trip on somethin or when we do kicking exercises my bandaid will fly off or somethin like that... there goes paranoid me again :D well w/e im gonna see if i can find a tutorial or somethin on making blogskins -chow-

jess @ 4/18/2003 12:53:00 PM


mood: happy- [Blade]- sad- [Blade]- ignored- ["friends" in chat]- blah- [todays injuries] // mixed

music: noise from star trek voyager on TV // sound of my fingers tapping dilligently on the keys

havent added anythin for awhile heh... stupid restrictions -.- so ive gotta add a few updates in here and such... so glad its a four day weekend [no school from tomoro to monday :D] i need to go to the beach and finally get my tan, catch up on my zzZZzz's and try to study and/or get ahead in some of my schoolwork :-/ woo! only 5 weeks left til school is over i simply cannot wait!!!!

words cant even begin to express what i feel for u what i wanna show to u what i wanna give to u what i wanna be for u what u mean to me how much i need u desperately

^- got inspired to do that a lil earlier when i was thinking bout blade... lol

anyways... blade just signed off *sigh* its 1125... i miss him already... no school tomoro or monday! woo! and hes on vaca too! we can talk! yay!!!!!!!! :D he makes me feel so good geesh ^///^ i really wish he lived closer >.< *sigh- again* i wanna be curled up in his arms and feel his warmth but blah that owuld have to wait

anyways... 2 days ago was my birthday :D im 15 i dont feel or look 15 i dont think, but i am 15, and in a few weeks imma get my permit :D

today wasnt such a good day... altho i did pretty well on some stuff... the social aspects werent so pleasant... 6th period johnston world history was my worst class ._. at the beginning of the period, my "friend" madeline came up to me and pinched my arm -.- left a nice bumpy [and now itchy] bruise it did... and then during the middle of the period we were assigned to walk around the room and look at the posters and answer 6 questions for 4 diff posters during the period... me n lauren were partners and i put my binder with my notes on it on the counter by one of the posters we were examining then the binder fell off the counter and landed on my left big toe... hurt, of course, and i thot i mighta bruised it and shrugged it off despite the annoying pain that resulted from it... few min later i looked down and saw a nice lil puddle of blood [haha puddle of mud, it rhymes, get it? get it? :P] where the binder had crashed onto my toe and i didnt even feel the blood.... it looked kinda weird but eh lol... that should leave a nice scar... another souvenir... maybe itll be a bigger scar than the one on my left thumb... geez what is it with the left side appendages? haha... another pain i have are my ear o_o since yday theyre been hurting like mad... my second piercings in my ears are really sore [maybe bruised?] cuz i havent worn earrings for a few months so i decided to put them in... and now i hafta clean them everyday, twist them every few hours, take them out and clean them to get the ear crusty junk off... heh that sounded gross but *shrugs* o well... i like my lil [real ;-)] cubic zirconia studs... look nifty hehe :D like granny used to say "it takes a lil bit of pain to be purdy"

well, over the summer, like july 9 to july 20, im gonna take the LMS course at SHS [sarasota high school] with yvette and anh thu... melynda goes to SHS... says its really easy compared to PV [pine view- my school] so i kinda envy her for that... anyways... the LMS thing will be from 8 to 2 i think and ill prolly go home with yvette or somethin like that

i really need to take a shower tonite me so staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaankay... i wanna dream bout blade tonite... should be fun ^^; hehe i love him so much and im so happy that i met him... cant wait til tomoro ^^ -nite: 1223-

jess @ 4/17/2003 10:52:00 PM