Saturday

allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day ive been testing out blogskins, looking at peoples blogs, just basically blog stuff... its so tiring lol... bout an hour ago i ran my hair under the bathroom sink faucet to loosen up the mousse that was in it from yday... i felt so puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurdy last nite lol... cuz i got out of the shower and i got bored so i put mousse all in my hair and it was WAVY! i was so happy ^_^ right now my hair has some kind of wave to it, but not like last nite... i shoulda taken a pic... o well... but i think ill start wearing my hair like that more often ^_^ i prefer mousse over hair spray any day lol... ok enuff of the hair stuff O:]

lately everyones been asking me what the countdown is for... alot. well, as many have guessed its for a certain special day... when i can finally drive... legally, that is hehe... i cant wait to have a party! this mornin me n blade were talkin bout havin parties and stuff... it was fun :D... i was thinkin bout havin a go kart // 4 wheeler thing perhaps? or maybe a blacklight lit area with tons of glostix and an open dance floor? maybe paintballin... i dunno... but i definitely gotta do somethin awesome this year and then somethin even better next year for sweet 16 :D...

ya kno what? i found my container of bubble fluid stuff and started blowin bubbles ^^ which inspired me... TO HAVE A BUBBLE BLOWING PARTY!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!! thatd be awesome... hehe... ok im outness

23 DAYS!


jess @ 3/22/2003 08:45:00 PM

Friday

ITS SPRING BREAK BABY!

well, technically, today is "professional day" or, as it really is: "teachers-get-a-break-from-work-and-annoying-school-kids day" but i like to call it the start of our SB (Spring Break) because we were supposed to have the 7th of this month off instead of today, but for some reason that i cant and am not willing to remember why they changed it to today... but it just so happens that it is right before our SB, hence my new reference to it

am i using too many smart words yet? hehe.. yeah ill try to type more stupidly now :P

ive been lookin for songs today and my bro has his speakers turned up really loud on his puter and hes playin the songs we wanna hear and im really gettin into a linkin park mood now XD o well im home alone and i miss blade... :[... i still have like 30 mins til he gets home and i can talk to him *happy happy joy joy* he came on earlier at like 1105 [a.m.] while in class on a laptop supposedly doin "research"... hes so sweet ^^ i love him... :D.. we talked bout the soon to come wedding of ours for tonite... and then the honeymoon... i think we're gonna postpone it due to uh... well... me lol and my err... personal things...

anyhoo, its raining ^^ i wish blade was here... he told me he likes the rain.. i like it too... its a bit comforting... *sigh*

haha- stupid mom just came home and hands me a gold ribbon that was prefolded into fourths...
shes like "whats that mean?"
me: "what r u talkin bout?"
her: "someone gave it to me"
me: "i dont kno... geez"
she went to Tuffy to get her oil changed? somethin like that about the stupid van... which we have had for... uhm... o yeah! 8 YEARS! geezus she loves that van a tad too much.. its so crappy XD... and now she wants me to go to tkd (tae kwon do) tonite... -_-... I WANNA BE LAZY! I WANNA STAY HOME! i also wanna be there for the wedding thing... ack! i need to edit my vows...

i thinks ill add a tad more later... when i can think of stuff to entertain myself and unbore u boring readers... :P

24 DAYS!


jess @ 3/21/2003 02:11:00 PM


lyrics day!


[When this began]

I had nothing to say.

And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me.

[I was confused]

And I live it all out to find, but I'm not the only person with these things in mind.

[Inside of me]

But all that they can see the words revealed.

Is the only real thing that i got left to feel.

[Nothing to lose]

Just stuck, hollow and alone.

And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own.



I wanna heal, I wanna feel, What I thought was never real

I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long

Erase all the pain til' it's gone

I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real

I wanna find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong.




And I've got nothing to say. I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face.

[I was confused]

Look at everywhere only to find.

It is not the way I had imagined it all in my mind.

[So what am I]

What do I have but negativity.

Cuz I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me.

[Nothing to lose]

Nothing to gain, hollow and alone.

And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own.



I wanna heal, I wanna feel, What I thought was never real

I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long

Erase all the pain til' it's gone

I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real

I wanna find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong



I will never know myself until I do this on my own.

Cuz I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed.

I will never be anything til' I break away from me.

I will break away. I'll find myself today.



I wanna heal, I wanna feel, What I thought was never real

I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long

Erase all the pain til' it's gone

I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real

I wanna find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong



I wanna heal, I wanna feel, Like I'm Somewhere I belong...

I wanna heal, I wanna feel, Like I'm Somewhere I belong...

Somewhere I belong...


We've all seen the man at the liquor store beggin' for your change

The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange

He asks a man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes

"Get a job you f***ing slob," is all he replies

God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes

'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues


Chorus

Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...


Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom that said he was in love

He said, "Don't worry about a thing, baby doll

I'm the man you've been dreaming of."

But 3 months later he says he won't date her or return her call

And she swear, "God d**n, if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls."

And then she heads for the clinic and

she gets some static walking through the door

They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner

and they call her a whore

God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes

'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose


Chorus

I've seen a rich man beg

I've seen a good man sin

I've seen a tough man cry

I've seen a loser win

And a sad man grin

I heard an honest man lie

I've seen the good side of bad

And the downside of up

And everything between

I licked the silver spoon

Drank from the golden cup

And smoked the finest green


I stroked the baddest dimes at least a couple of times

before I broke their heart

You know where it ends, yo, it usually depends on where you start

I knew this kid named Max

who used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs

He liked to hang out late

he liked to get s**t-faced and keep up the place with thugs

Until late one night there was a big gun fight and Max lost his head

He pulled out his chrome .45, talked some s**t, and wound up dead

Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of this pain

You know it crumbles that way

at least that's what they say when you play the game

God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news


'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose

Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...to have to lose


I spent years and all of this time

Thinking I was better off

cause you were mine

you always said it was your way or the highway

So I'm shiftin my life into drive

I'm getting out, kissin' the past goodbye

Like Toby said,

"How do you like me now?"

This conversation has run dry

And I keep telling myself


CHORUS:

oooh oooh oooh

There's more to me than you

oooh oooh

don't underestimate what I can do

Well I'm alright

Its okay

I know I'll make it through

Cause there's more to me than you


I'm not sayin I'm battered and bruised

But I might as well be with the words you use

I believe in myself and that makes me stronger

Things change, So have I

I'm gonna make hay while the sun still shines

You can clip my wings, I'm still gonna fly

I'm on my own and I'm on my way

And I keep telling myself


CHORUS:

oooh oooh oooh

There's more to me than you

oooh oooh

don't underestimate what I can do

Well I'm alright

Its okay

I know I'll make it through

Cause there's more to me than you


There was always something that meant more to you than me

And I'm just sorry it's taken this for you to see


CHORUS:

oooh oooh oooh

There's more to me than you

oooh oooh

don't underestimate what I can do

Well I'm alright

Its okay

I know I'll make it through

Cause there's more to me than you


jess @ 3/21/2003 01:30:00 PM

Wednesday

i wish i was a dog *sigh* i looked at my dog earlier and she seemed so happy, so oblivious to everything... i mean, she has everythin she could ever possibly want and she doesnt really hafta work for it... she gets loved and hugged and babied and fed and everythin and she doesnt even hafta go to school! she only hasta learn a few tricks to get doggy food *sigh* i want a dogs life... she has 9 nipples too! XD shes so skinny that her ribs are oddly shaped and stick out ... she has a long curly tail too... and a big flat brown short nose hehe... and she gets attention whenever someone passes by... shes so adorable, everyone loves her bug eyes... her hair grows a bit fast but we just got her cut and she looks ridiculously tiny... so yeah... a dogs life.. what a blissful ignorance...

stupid war... makes me feel fear and dislike and disgust... blah... Bush is all like "we have a war with afghanistan, why not throw iraq in as well? hmm maybe we can go after north korea next! woohoo!" *rolls eyes* i really dont like war.. but i guess there was no other choice... heh, my dad told me that today he saw some protestors down at newtown... what a bunch of idiots... they cant do anythin now.. ok now on with my rambling of stupid stuff:

stupid Bush
stupid war
stupid jets
stupid bombs
stupid death
stupid life
stupid saddam
stupid nukes
stupid UN
stupid world
stupid fighting
stupid soldiers
stupid pain
stupid feelings
stupid keyboard
stupid wrist
stupid head
stupid brain
stupid school
stupid ring

no wait i like my ring uhm...

stupid eyes
stupid glasses
stupid eyelashes
stupid knee
stupid foot
stupid ankle
stupid foot sole
stupid toes
stupid mosquitoes
stupid diseases
stupid asians who brought new disease to US :x

stupid stupid stupid!!!!! blah!

if only blade was here... then i wouldnt be complaining about everythin thats stupid...

stupid mom
stupid dad
stupid school
stupid homework
stupid tests
stupid teachers
stupid back
stupid spine
stupid heart
stupid mind
stupid life
stupid love

stupid stupid stupid!!!!!

my parents wouldnt let me talk to blade if they knew bout him... frick they wouldnt let me online if they knew bout him... w/e when i grow up im gonna be a good parent.. ill be cool... and actually nice... unless its my thing... and id be the best mom ever lol... sounds so original huh? haha well i kno what i want as a kid and i kno what my kids would go thru so i might as well support them and make them trust me so that they can have a better life than i have... at least theyll get freedom! >:O!!!!

anyhoo... heh... this is a bit long hehe... and i cant think of anythin else to type so nitey nite

26 DAYS!


jess @ 3/19/2003 11:28:00 PM

Tuesday

even more quizzes!



find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com


^-- mmm pie...


discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com


^-- candy? where? :D


AQUA



You enjoy life, humor, and being exhuberant. Wherever you go you usually find yourself stealing the spotlight without even trying. You love to let go and have fun.



Find out your color at Stvlive.com!



and


ORANGE



You are driven and optimistic. You strive to succede in life while lightening the mood of those around you. You do well at any job you put your mind to.



Find out your color at Stvlive.com!



^-- they tied O:]


discover your inner candy heart @ stvlive.com


^-- lmao... right on! bring me the chocolates!!!



Are you Addicted to the Internet?

52%


Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%)
You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.

The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!



^-- hehehe...


jess @ 3/18/2003 10:52:00 PM

Monday

grrrrrr BUSH IS MORON! YES O YES O YES HE IS! :D just felt like adding that -.- im so ashamed to be a "republican" now... see, thats why i hate politics... -note: see 2nd lower entry from this one- ... *sigh* BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON! BUSH IS MORON!

o.o;;

hehe im ok now i just wanted to release some of my disliking for that particular man -.-

nite!


jess @ 3/17/2003 10:12:00 PM


random thoughts

it takes a womans touch for a man to melt

...and it hurts, because i cant show you how i feel

every second is like heaven when im with you

you make me smile :D

i love being loved by you

they say the man of your dreams doesnt make you cry...
...but what about the happy tears?

he made me laugh
he made me cry
he gave me hope inside

laughter overruns the tears

real friends stab you in the front

i dont wanna come back down from this cloud

i am no superman
i have no reasons for you

...when the moment is not right
and her timing is quite...
unusual

fly away on my cell phone

...theres secrets in this life that i cant find...

you make me feel
you make me feel
you make me feel like a natural, woman


jess @ 3/17/2003 09:51:00 PM


huhhuh... huhhuh... (better if u hear me say it lol)... thats how i felt last nite.. i melted... seriously XD blade called my house!!!!!!!!!! i was soooooooo happy because it was random and i just melted at the sound of his voice... humina humina humina XD!

but really... he has a deep nice voice.. its not too deep... but deep enuff and juuuuuuuuuuust right to my liking... *sigh* i wanna talk to him again! geezums! stupid parents -.- i want my sound card! AND I WANT IT NOW! :-x

i hate politics
i hate politics
i hate politics
i hate politics
i hate politics
i hate politics

"its all politics"

i hate politics
i hate politics
i hate politics
i hate politics
i hate politics
i hate politics

heh heh... anyhoo...

ill add more later when i can think of more pointless things to include :D

28 DAYS!


jess @ 3/17/2003 08:04:00 PM