poor monkey... LMAO

there are 2 pig farmers and they wanted to win the annual fattest pig contest

so theyre thinking "if we stick a cork up that pigs butt, itll grow faster"

so they stuck a cork up its butt

a few months go by, and the pig just keeps gettin bigger and bigger

the farmers realize that uh oh, eventually theyll have to pull out the cork

so they hire a monkey trainer to train a monkey to pull out corks

later on, they go to the contest and win first prize for the fattest pig

the pig, who isnt looking too great and is about ready to explode, is taken to the field with the monkey after the contest and ceremonies

the trainer sends the monkey over to the pig saying "go on, theres a cork, pull it out"

they wake up to find themselves in the hospital

a doctor comes along and asks the first guy "what was the last thing u remember?"

he says "i saw the monkey go up to the pig and everything went black"

doctor asks the second guy the same thing

he replies "saw the monkey go up to the pig and everythin went dark"

so the doctor asks the third man, the trainer, what the last thing he remembered was

the guy goes "all i remember is that poor little monkey trying to stick the cork back in the pigs butt"

jess @ 3/15/2003 08:08:00 PM

more quizzes!...

You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

^--hahahaha im perfect! :P only problem is that the pic is anime and pink :-/

You're not so much depressed as you're totally
freaking insane. Kati would be friends with you
because she's just like you. You could stay
over her house and make pasta and biscuits at 4
am. You're also astoundingly similar to Invader
Zim's GIR. Viva la little robots wearing green
dog suits! Let's make biscuits!

How Depressed are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

^-- hehehehe ... invader zim is scary tho :-/

30 DAYS!

jess @ 3/15/2003 04:27:00 PM


heh.. this mornin.. i was really really really really happy ^^


cuz... blade was really nice n sweet and had perfect timing XD he proposed to me! :-o lol... he "gave" me the purdy blue ring i had eyed b4... i literally melted when i saw it... it was so awesome!

then tonite, like 2 hours ago, my dad installed adobe photoshop! muahahahahha

im so happy bout that cuz now i can mess with all the details effects and graphics and its SO COOL! haha i sound like such a newb O:]

o well, i am the basic newb for all the tools and switches and yeah... its so nifty tho! lol

i drew some pics already, 3 total; 2 for blade, 1 for me and my boredness

ill write more later lol too tired for words

31 DAYS!

jess @ 3/14/2003 10:55:00 PM



...die u sick blahstards! diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!

ok so i was in the chat tonite and my friend, ari (arielle) came in and shes like "my boyfriend wants to make out but i dont wanna cuz ive never made out before :-/" of course, almost everyone is in disbelief and we start cracking up and shes wanting advice so we give her some advice then im like "ok ill give u the website" so i go on Google and look up tips on kissing and the first site that it comes up with is called Sheila's Kissing Booth and this is me: *jaw drop and stunned confused face look*... lol when i saw it at first i was seriously gonna crack up so badly... and i just realized that typing how i talk makes me sound really preppy :-/... o well... anyhoo, i click on the website and IT ACTUALLY GIVES DIRECTIONS ON HOW TO KISS, FRENCH KISS, AND DIFFERENT WAYS TO KISS! it was sooooooooooooooooooooo hilarious! i mean seriously, who would spend that kinda time on a wasted piece of a useless webpage? thank God for the intranet [internet]! haha... it has everythin ;D... so yeah... its so fun-e... hehehe

also from that site... theres a quotes section and you kno i had to go to it :P anyhoo here are some (that i havent put in my profile already):

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
- Woody Allen

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
- Ingrid Bergman

I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that they just about throw up.
- Barbara Bush

Love is stronger than justice.
- Dinah Shore

The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable.
- Victor Hugo

ok thats all the quotes im gonna put if u wanna see em all click here

and in other news today... im gonna kill wes n mike (mek) :D

Te amo ... Je t'aime ... Ich liebe dich ... Ti amo ... Eu te amo
no matter what language and what way its said, it all means the same thing: I love you [.B.l.a.d.e.]
no matter how many ways i say it and no matter how many times i say it, it would never express just how much u mean to [.m.e.]

yeah its mushy gushy love stuff but thats cuz its how i really feel :P

33 DAYS!

jess @ 3/13/2003 12:03:00 AM


BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me from my wretched chamber!

*sigh* FCAT tomoro *rolls eyes*

today was boring... well duh, i had school :P but at least i got to talk to Blade ^^ *insert big arse smile here* heh... insted of smile i was gonna put smyle... smyle looks so funky... me likes :D

anyhoo... i cant wait til Blade and I can meet... but thats prolly a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way away :( poo... *sigh*

im such a slacker at school too... o.< cuz i just finished 2 papers that (1) was due last monday and (2) was due yesterday... same class too... wow im stupid >.o

my butt hurts and ive barely been sitting on it [for now]... i just watched TV... some show like american idol but for a country star... very very very awesome singers there... yesh, i listen to country... don laff at me :P

lmao we were watchin one of the people sing and this big guy comes on like 200 lbs and 6'3'' lookin.. then he tries to sing! his voice is so friggin high! we were laughin our butts off! XD then my mom, shes sitting by my dad... shes like "hes a homo man" XD!!!!!!!! OUT OF NOWHERE! IT WAS HILARIOUS! AND IT WAS SO RANDOM! cuz she didnt talk at all during the time we were watchin the tube... and then all of a sudden "homo man" XD!

so anyhoo... its almost 1130 and im supposed to be printin my papers out now ():) so ill try not to be lazy and add more to this tomoro

34 DAYS!

^^ i love you Blade ^^

jess @ 3/11/2003 11:27:00 PM


ok still bored and went to my old subprofile and these are some of the Random Facts that there were:

In Utah, it is illegal to swear in front of a dead person.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.

An average human scalp has 100,000 hairs.

The average ice berg weighs 20,000,000 tons.

When you sneeze, all your bodily functions stop even your heart.

Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does.

A McDonald's straw will hold 7.7ml, or just over one-and-a-half teaspoons of whatever you are drinking. This means that it would take 17,000 strawfuls of water to fill up a 34 gallon bathtub.

ok, now for the last one, who in the world would think of that and actually measure it?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

alrighty now im hungry and u kno ill write more soon :P

jess @ 3/10/2003 01:03:00 PM

*sigh* today = boring... heh, i didnt even go to school either ():)... stupid leg... it got all cramped up and i couldnt walk.. o well, at least it gives me time to work on projects i was supposed to do over the weekend insted XD;;... anyhoo... i got bored of the project and decided to take a few more quizzes at and here are my results:

(from the Do you know how to kiss? quiz)
Great Kisser (30-55 points)
Jessica, you are great at kissing: passionate, stormy, sensitive etc. - you know it all. Your kisses come from your heart. You've got the right feeling as you show interest in your partner. For you it's not a competition but real feelings. Sometimes you like to experiment. You always remember that it's not the technique, the strategy or the performance that counts but to have real feelings for your dreamguy. It's not surprising that a lot of guy's (like Blade?) fall for you.

^--o yeah babe ;D lol

(from the Are you a Leader? quiz)

Vice-leader.... (30-55 points)
Jessica, you like to take control but you could use some more confidence. That's why you still depend on others every now and then. You need just a little more confidence to be a great leader. Judging from your answers, I'd say you have it in you!

^--alrighty then...

(from the Are you addicted to the Internet? quiz)

Intensive user (30-60 points)
Jessica, you know how to use the internet and how it can enhance your life, without putting your personal life in danger! Very good, keep it up.

^--lmao... intensive? thats a bit understated... ():)

jess @ 3/10/2003 12:52:00 PM

my Lord i absolutely love this site i found! (dont ask how) its so random! its so weird! its so... me! haha not really but its pretty awesome... its called toothpaste for dinner and i like the lil pics on it... heh... heh... the webmaster does alot of pictures and theyre so RANDOM! lol yeah i already said that but i mean, its true... hehe ok anyways... from the site, these are a few of my favorite pics


- the end -
...for now...

ps- 35 DAYS!

jess @ 3/10/2003 11:41:00 AM


quizzes! lol...

Aah...I'm psycho!
Are You Crazy??Find out!


Pretty!  I'm a buttercup!
Which Flower Are You?Find out!

^--say wha?

Ok...I have a Creative Personality
What's Your Personality?Find out!

^-- eh... thats the closest option they had... im not that creative...():)

Yummy...I'm Dessert!
Which Part of a Meal Are You?Find out!

^--i like that one best XD

Rock On! I'm...Rock!
Which Music Type are You?Find out!

^--like u didnt see that coming? \m/[-_-]\m/ <--haha :P

Woohoo! I'm Big Bird!
Which Kid's TV Character are You?Find out!

^--lmao! now thats just freaky! XD

this is a result of a Fashion & Style Quiz:
Your own Person (35-65 points)
Jessica, you're not completety unaware of fashion trends and you usually conform to them sooner or later. There's nothing wrong with that as you are not the type of person that follows new trends blindly. For instance: you are not uncomfortable appearing in public with the sweater your grandmother knitted for you, but when you go out for new clothes you will probably buy something that is "in style". This proves that you are your own person and not a fashionfreak, so more power to you!

^-- ohhhhhhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah *noddingness*

okies nitey nite

jess @ 3/09/2003 11:43:00 PM

36 DAYS!

jess @ 3/09/2003 07:53:00 PM